LETTING GO: The Price of Security
By unwinding the program of securing more and more resources, and focussing instead on serving nature and the people around us, only then can we can build true security and trust from the ground up.
When I write, I think about who you are and where you might be coming from.
I think about the tone I’m using, and how you might interpret what I say.
I use every word intentionally, and I’m careful about making assumptions. I have no agenda, only the urge to explore my mind, what I am seeing, and share my perspective. But sometimes, the thought of how my ideas might be received stops me from sharing them at all, and I question if it is safe to share.
Because of the nature of my experiences, my grip on security is tight, and safety is at the top of my mind.
What do I mean by security? What does it mean to be safe?
One definition for security is:
The state of being free from danger or threat
This definition I find challenging because to me, security is not the absence or prevention of a particular event occurring. With this definition, you could put any word in its’ place and simply define what it is not. That doesn’t tell you what the meaning of the word IS.
A second definition says that security is:
A thing deposited or pledged as a guarantee of the fulfillment of an undertaking or the repayment of a loan, to be forfeited in case of default.
This definition tells us that security is a THING. The words “deposited, pledge, repayment,” and “loan” all indicate that the THING represents MONEY. Perhaps also something like a watch or a ring, in that case representing TIME and VALUE.
I often hear the phrase that TIME=MONEY. And in most places, we understand that money has value. Time only equals money when you are working for it, and so in this paradigm, we are programmed to obtain our sense of security and value by actively doing something for the purpose of making or saving money (aka: “working”).
Doing “nothing” under this construct has zero inherent value. I know for me at least, I have a difficult time resting because I don’t feel like it’s valuable. I feel the strong need to serve someone or be productive to be worthy of being.
I know also that part of the indoctrination by the church and messages from media lead women to believe they are not worthy or secure without a husband, and that a man is not valuable until he possesses a wife and creates a nuclear family.
It appears that the program of a “man” is to gain security by centring themselves around work and money (providing security), and for a “woman,” to gain security by centring herself around a man, and eventually her children. This creates a cycle of dependence—for a woman to depend on a man, and for a man to depend on a job. That is why it can be hugely destabilizing to lose your job, or relationship, because they are the only perceived connections we have to security.
A key to reclaiming security is learning to centre your attention on nurturing your own sense of safety, without attaching it to something, or someone outside of yourself.
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“Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.”
I didn’t intend to mention trees in this article, but… money is paper and paper is trees.
Under capitalism, trees are cut down and assigned value—a made up dollar value. Same with oil, gas, metals, and other natural resources. As a collective, the more money generated means more resources are extracted from earth. With the economy collapsing, we are seeing an alarming increase in the rate of resource extraction, and as capitalism comes to its’ final stage, it is digging deep for every last drop of oil to stay fuelled.
As global consumption increases, it also drives the need for more materials (such as plastics, electronics, clothing, and cars) and energy (such as fossil fuels, electricity, etc.) to be extracted from earth—there is a direct link between what we consume and how much we consume and its’ impact on nature and people. For example, the U.S. makes up about 4% of the world's population but consumes about 25% of the world's energy.
The high consumption levels in the Global North, especially in the U.S., contribute to increased resource extraction in the Global South. Countries like Mexico often bear the environmental and social brunt of mining, logging, and agricultural production that supplies these wealthy markets. This results in environmental degradation, labor exploitation, economic dependence, and social inequality. While economic growthand trade can bring some benefits, the extraction of resources to satisfy global consumption patterns often comes at a high environmental and social cost, which disproportionately affects poorer countries and communities.
Again we see how our security is tied to trees, in more than one way. You can not build a house with cash, you can not feed your family with paper. But we need living trees for oxygen, trees for shade from the sun, trees to purify water, and trees to form the roots for life to flourish by providing essential support for plants and animals to thrive. Other than sustainably harvesting firewood to keep us warm when electricity inevitably powers down, you can see why trees—especially the old growth that remains—are worth more standing.
The true and foundational things that secure our well being (all of which you can find in a forest, by the way) are shelter, food, water, clothing, and community. When we let go of our program of securing more and more money, and we focus instead on how we can serve nature and the people around us, we can build true confidence and trust from the ground up.
We meet and build relationships with people who would always share a meal, a place to rest, and a place by their fire. And I have found that in moments of desperation, nature always provides. Nature is abundant.
When you invest your time, energy, money, or attention in your community instead of purchasing stocks that pull minerals out of the earth or harvest people’s attention, everyone’s health increases.
Health is wealth. And why else are we here but to be well, to enjoy, interact with the beauty of nature, and share with each other? We are not here to spin our wheels and burnout—pouring our time, attention, money and energy into a black hole. Even though it seems at times there is no other choice. We are here to thrive, and give love to nature—the system that naturally reciprocates. The beautiful part is that this shift is quite simple, and it is available for us to receive now, because it starts in our hearts and minds.
I’m not saying that money is bad; what I am saying is that our relationship to money can cause harm. Our insatiable hunger for more, and believing that we must hoard as much money as possible, sit on it, and save it for a rainy day—instead of sharing the excess with a community member who may need it today, is a notion I am challenging.
We are so centred around money and the pursuit of security that we have forgotten what it is we are working for. All we seem to know is the pain we are avoiding.
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When you know and trust that nature gives endlessly, and you focus more on the health of the earth than the wealth of your bank account, you learn quickly that there is little to worry about.
Charles Eisenstein traces the origin of money in ancient cultures, where it was primarily a medium for exchanging gifts rather than a store of value or a tool for speculation. He contrasts this with the modern monetary system, which he sees as a tool for extracting value from society and the environment, lending to inequality, and perpetuating a cycle of debt and continual growth.
He describes how money, in its current form, has moved away from its roots in community trust and has become a force that separates people from each other and the environment. The very nature of money in contemporary society has contributed to environmental degradation, alienation, and the erosion of human relationships.
Our preoccupation with securing more money than we need to ensure a ‘safe’ future is futile. Especially when the system as we know it is crumbling.
To stabilize ourselves again, we need new definitions of safety, different notions of what it means to be secure, and new ways of circulating wealth.
Security, to me, is a FEELING.
A definition I have for security is “the freedom to feel at ease.”
It is feeling safe to exist in your body and in your environment. It means that nothing is a threat because you are safe in your awareness, and you are home in the safety of your being. You trust your vision and what you have constructed around you. There are no beliefs, systems or constructs being impressed on you, because the fortress of your being is so strong, and the world respects your space and privacy. You are free to be in your own world without limitations, without anyone watching, imposing expectations, exploiting, abusing, or controlling you.
Something I have noticed about myself is that when I felt like I was in danger or there was something to be afraid of (when in reality, I was safe), I became the potentially dangerous one. Scanning for threats, becoming reactive, and vibrating with fear. I made quick assumptions and judgements about others, and my decision making became less accurate.
I think that cultivating the feeling of safety in your mind, body and community is the first place to arrive before taking a step in any direction. Trusting yourself and your own guards, believing in your inherent value, and practicing listening to the sound of your intuition’s voice.
For a lot of my life—most of my life—I’ve been searching for the spaces I feel safe to let the bridge of my fortress come down without fear of getting hurt.
In doing so, I have had to practice letting my guard down in all kinds of spaces. Opening myself up in places where I really don’t know how I’ll be received or cared for in my vulnerability. I open my heart to every new experience, one after the next. Sometimes it is enjoyable, and sometimes it hurts. But it is necessary for building true and authentic connections that can sustain hardship.
It sounds nice and beautiful to have an open heart, but it is also painful, because everyone else is also just learning how to love and hold their own.
Even though strong relationships help, and nature is more than capable of holding us, I’ve come to find that we are still never truly secure in relationship, nor are we secure in our environment. Anything can change in one second, and you are always left with yourself.
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Alan Watt’s says, "The more a person tries to make life predictable and certain, the more anxiety they create. True security comes from understanding that life is unpredictable, and by accepting it, we find peace."
Perhaps there’s no such thing as “safe spaces.” But we can learn how to feel safe in our body through acceptance, and learn how to be safer people for each other.
Safety only appears in reflection as an absence of harm, and seeking to fabricate security only fortifies the walls between you and the world.
Many societies have an obsession with obtaining safety through certainty and protection, and in so they create prisons of comfort, keeping us secure from an “unsafe“ world where we have no control over what might happen. The “what ifs”…
To step into a new reality, we must learn to be comfortable in the uncomfortable. Comfortable in the unknown, instead of comfortable in our personally constructed prisons.
The idea of safety, then, is just an illusion we chase through the definition of security that was told to us and that we bought into.
The pursuit of safety and the industry of security is manufactured by marketing the mindset that the world is unsafe, then manufacturing products that appear to make you safe, and selling the illusion of peace. In reality, these concepts keep us separated, alone, alert, controlled and monitored.
For now, I hold safety as a feeling you can experience within you at any given moment (with practice), but not a reality or state that can be “reached.”
Containment does not guarantee safety, but within our own container (our body), we can cultivate and nurture the feeling of being safe by reminding ourselves that we ARE safe. You are here, you are alive, you are reading this, you are safe. Accessing this feeling I also believe is largely connected with our foundational belief around death.
(note: I am not denying that there are unsafe places or situations, some people are truly not safe in this moment… the ideas I am suggesting are for those who live a generally safe and comfortable life).
Let’s remember that one of the many tools of oppression and control is to keep you feeling under threat, and in a state of constant hyper-vigilance, which is extremely dysregulating for the nervous system. The loop of being scared (usually by a perceived threat) and feeling unsafe is a common program, especially if you are often exposed to, or subscribe to mainstream media.
It doesn’t take much observation to notice how most news stories perpetuate fear. Fear of the unknown (ex: UFO’s and aliens), abduction or molestation (ex: pedophiles), fear of nature (ex: animals and the weather), fear of illness, war, the end of the world… the list goes on… however, the root is all in the fear of death.
The carefully designed delivery of the news is made to heighten your anxiety, shorten your attention, and shape your beliefs about what is real.
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In the book Amusing Ourselves to Death, Neil Postman writes about history’s shift from being a "Logos" to an "Episodic" Culture. The rise of television (and social media) has led to a shift from serious, detailed communication to an emphasis on entertainment, reducing the quality of public discourse.
This "amusement" culture undermines rational discourse. For example, political debates on television become more about spectacle, soundbites, and charisma than about the substantive discussion of policies and ideas. Postman discusses how debates between politicians are often reduced to mere performances, with little room for deep, thoughtful exchanges. Events are presented as isolated, sensational, and emotionally charged, rather than part of a larger, interconnected narrative.
In schools, television has replaced traditional forms of learning, with entertainment-based educational programming undermining the development of critical thinking skills. The rise of "edutainment" focuses on fun rather than intellectual engagement.
While Neil Postman wrote AMUSING Ourselves to Death in 1985, forty years ago, now I would say we are CONSUMING ourselves to death.
Moving to the forest and removing all distractions was an opportunity that allowed me to see what and how much I was consuming. How many messages, words, sounds, and advertisements we are bombarded with on a daily basis. On the streets, through our phones, and on screens. Mostly the messages tell you what to fear, and what you need to do (or buy) to feel safe, full, valuable, beautiful etc…
So much is pushed into our awareness that we don’t even subscribe to or question where it came from. And in our generalized addiction to dopamine, we open the door to anything that might make us feel better temporarily. On social media, we have little control over what is pushed out to us, and anyway, it is a vacuum of our own belief systems.
A friend gave me this analogy: when the first thing you do in the morning is open social media, it’s like letting hundreds of people into your bedroom while they all talk over each other. How overstimulating is that?
Without a break from this existence (which I understand is challenging for many to remove themselves from), we can get wrapped up in it, re-enforcing the dominant narrative of separation and an ever-increasing unobtainable standard of what merits value and what constitutes safety, security, and belonging.
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When I began to travel, I was able to witness, and draw my own conclusions about the world and the people in it. I stopped consuming and regurgitating the information that had been fed to me, and I started observing for myself.
What I learned about safety is that:
The world is not a scary and dangerous place
People are more likely to help than harm you
The world is full of loving, kind, and generous people
When you cultivate a feeling of safety in yourself as your baseline, it helps in recognizing in which situations you are genuinely unsafe
The goal post of “security” is always changing and we will never reach a feeling of safety with our current definition of security as it relates to money
True security is found in cultivating deep bonds with the people around you, trusting yourself and your ability to take care of yourself, accepting the present moment, and recognizing that the environment is always changing—requiring that we constantly update our concepts and constructs about security
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in wanting or planning, but in being—Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Lastly, in the wise words of Bilbo Baggins, “The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
We can not control every factor in our environment or build an indestructible “safe space,” but we can find security in the strength of our relationships with each other, practice being at peace with the great mystery of life, and be aware enough to respond to violence when it appears.
While our bodies are fragile, our souls are indomitable—and from this perspective, we are always safe while we walk this earth.